Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Blue Clap

ESCAPADE CATEGORY: Messing with the new guy

Our hero was serving in Okinawa with the US Marines in some capacity. The arrival of a sanctimonious new guy was the occasion for unbridled retribution.

The new guy arrives on base and sets up in the barracks. He is regaled by tales of adventures with the local ladies of the evening. He interupts the conversation and proclaims his immunity to such temptations and his undying devotion to his girlfriend back home. The other Marines predict his downfall, some plan to expedite it.

Several weeks later the predictible news of the new guy's cheating ways make it back to the barracks, a lot of ribbing ensues and one particularly malicious Marine feigns extreme concern at this turn of events. He tells the new guy that there is a particularly virulent sexually transmitted disease locally called the Blue Clap. He proceeds to describe in detail the symptoms which are all preceded by pissing bright blue urine. Soon after the victim spirals down to what is a horrible death within days. Among the later symptoms is a blackened and necrotic penis, which in rare instances falls off. The new guy showed some concern but not a lot.

The punishment was soon to take a psychologically scarring turn. One of the conspirators knew someone in the Navy Lab who obtained the dye Methylene Blue, used to stain slides. When consumed it passes unchanged through the system and produces nice blue urine.

For the next few days, the dye was slipped into his soda. Early on the third day around 4:30 in the morning there was a blood-curdling scream from the head (latrine). Our victim emerged crying, wanting to talk to his parents and to see a priest. The trap had been sprung. It took almost 20 minutes to calm the guy down and convince him that his death was not imminent. I'm sure homicidal thoughts entered his head afterwards.

1 comment:

  1. I have always thought methylene blue would be a great thing to drink before one of our frequent piss tests. I imagine myself striding proudly out of the latrine with my bottle of blue piss held high over my head like I just had the tidy bowl man give me a sample.