Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Angles and Dangles

Some fun times on a Trident

Taking the Blackhawk out for Lunch

ESCAPADE CATEGORY: Hungry soldiers not thinking

Reviewing some ethics violations from the Army Inspector General for 2010 I came across this one. This was less problematic than an incident also involving hungry soldiers that I was party to. I was the platoon sergeant and we were convoying up to a training area in Massachusetts. We stopped at a Gas station to fill up. Several of my soldiers asked if they could go inside for something to eat. I say "yes but hurry up". I glanced up just in time to see four soldiers charging into the convenience store..WITH THEIR WEAPONS! I had a vision of the startled clerk pulling out a .44 magnum. I ran inside and told them to never pull that crap again. Their defense was that they didn't have any ammo, so it shouldn't be a big deal.

Taking the Blackhawk Out for Lunch

A concerned citizen contacted the Inspector General after seeing a Blackhawk helicopter parked in a field behind a restaurant. Inside, he found five service members that had stopped for lunch and were enjoying their meal with several civilians. An investigation revealed that the soldiers were on a training mission, but they had properly listed the restaurant stop in their mission plan. Since the stop was properly listed, the soldiers had not violated any regulations, but they still received verbal counseling because their actions created an appearance of impropriety.



Thursday, December 9, 2010

Brave man samples 27 year old MRE contents


OK this is weird. A website dedicated to the infamous MRE (Meals Ready to Eat). Add to the weirdness, some guy send the author a vintage MRE that turns out to be over 20 years old. This must be seen to be believed.

One of my all time favorites and most peoples most hated item was the dehydrated pork patty. Yes just add water and voila - pork...well not quite. I preferred to stockpile them and eat them like a big meat potato chip. Apparently they only were available in the 1982 through 1987 vintage MREs. Because these things sat on shelves for years I was dining on pork patties into the mid-nineties.

Some of the contents of the vintage MRE were just wretched, like the chee se spread. He goes into excruciating detail on his deconstruction of this culinary artifact.

His commentary is great "to rehydrate the entree I elected to use my hotel room coffee pot"

Link: Taste Test: 1982 Menu Item #1 - Pork Patty

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Christmas gift ideas


ESCAPADES CATEGORY: Surplus

The HMS Invincible, a British aircraft carrier, has been put up for auction online. It saw action in the Falklands and Persian Gulf. Do you know someone who could use one? Its a great stocking stuffer. By the way, the engines have been removed, but it is ready for tow from HM Naval Base Portsmouth.

On NPR I heard them joking about it.
"Would it be a problem if the shipping location was Waziristan, Cave number 6?"
"You could tell it was the Al-Qaeda aircraft carrier because it was being rowed."

I love the auction site. There is a "windproof combat smock" and combat boots for auction on the same page as the aircraft carrier.

Here's a story on the ship auction from Wired Geekdad blog

Friday, December 3, 2010

Treating Ma Duce badly

Next time secure the barrel.

Barracks Pillow Fights

ESCAPADES CATEGORY: Jackassery

When I was in Medic School at FT Sam Houston in the 80's I remember one weekend coming back to base on Sunday finding about 20 soldiers male and female were doing hard time for the 1st Sergeant. Information on what happened was easy to get because article 15's were posted on the bulletin board for all to see.

Apparently on Friday night when we were released a bunch of soldiers had an impromptu pillow fight in second floor of the empty WWII barracks. One of the rooms had a pile of down-filled pillows. The pillow fight started benignly enough until someone hit a nail on the wall with their pillow sending a shower of feathers everywhere. Apparently this became the main event as more and more pillows were eviscerated. Eventually there was a layer of feathers covering the barracks from one end to the other.

Unfortunately for the participants, as things were winding down the 1st Sergeant was walking out of his office and noticed flashlights in the windows of the empty barracks. He made his way over, switched on the lights and discovered the mayhem. He was so angry he couldn't speak for a moment. 20 people with deer in the headlights looks awaited his tirade. They were not disappointed. It took hours to clean up the mess, since the feathers seemed to enjoy being free. Pass was canceled for all involved and the 1st Sergeant had a substantial workforce for his company beautification and painting committee.

Here's a video of a big pillow fight at the US Military Academy at West Point. That's what I want on my LOD "patient was participating in pillow fight and was struck in the face by an unknown object breaking his nose"

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I'm a pilot baby!

A favorite of ours in Iraq, well this and Barbie Girl. Dedicated to Captain O, our F16 Jockeys that liked shaking the paint off the walls and our Medevac pilots.

You crazy Bastards! Penguin knighted

ESCAPADES CATEGORY: Animals in the military

I always appreciate the eccentricities of military ceremonies, especially when they are ridiculous. In 2008 the King of Norway bestowed knighthood on a penguin in Scotland who has become the mascot of the King's Guard. This bird is was earlier made "Colonel and Chief of the Norwegian Army". I think this is the highest ranking animal that I know of. The working dogs in Iraq were usually Staff Sergeants or Sergeant First Class.

I wonder if they will let this penguin participate in NATO exercises in Norway.

BBC Story

Unhappy with the Service

ESCAPADES CATEGORY: Innovative use of weaponry

Here's a video of a soldier in Iraq who was unhappy with HP's service. In Iraq every piece of electronics was at risk of catastrophic failure. I went to the collection area (DRMO) and saw literally thousands of computers, printers, scanners not to mention air conditioners that had ceased to function and were piled unceremoniously in a heap to be "recycled". We found one of our Iraqi recyclers was just carting off dumptruck loads of crap and dumping it in someone's field near the base.